The reading for this week comes from the Malediction of Longinus. At this time Longinus has slain Jesus and been eternally Damned for his acts, but has not yet visited the tomb of Christ and received the word of his purpose from the angel Vahishtael.
1. In the city of Jerusalem, I met others who were Damned as I, but they did not truly understand it, and mocked me, as I had mocked Christ. And they tried to drive me away, for they considered the sheep on whom I had fed to be their herd. And I cursed them:
2. “Woe to you, you elders! for you hoard the Blood to yourselves, and yet you do not understand it.” And for a time, they left me, and considered my words.
3. I no longer lusted after women; I no longer desired wine; I no longer hungered after fine foods. I had no wish for wealth, for I did not need treasures on earth, when I had treasures in hell.
4. But I did not know what I should do, and would have lost my mind, if I had not decided that God wished more of me.
5. And I held the others in contempt: for though I could see that they slept and hunted and fed in the streets of the city, they were like the beasts of the wild.
6. They were Damned, and they stalked inside the walls, and they snarled, and they behaved like wolves or lions, but they did not have the thoughts of men.
7. They were thirsty, to no purpose. I hoped that I might find my Damned Kindred among them, but how could I know what to tell them, until I had heard myself the things I should tell?
(Mal. 13:1-7)
This is the state of kindred existence if we do not have a greater purpose. We feed, we fight, we kill, and we die, but to no ultimate end. Truly existence without cause or reason is the worst form of Damnation. We, who have received a glimpse of eternity, must seek purpose or we do not endure. It is the nature of this physical world to be transitory. In time even the mightiest of us falls. Whether to the predation of another, ennui, or repeated slumber, we are shown that even our longevity endures only so long. That which is truly eternal is not of this world.
The promise of eternal existence without purpose is the state in which all kindred begin. Some find the truth of Longinus' word quickly from their Sire or others who take them in. Others hear of it only years, decades, or centuries later. This truth is not salvation, for salvation is not a hope for the eternally Damned. Yet purpose, having an ordering to our existence, becoming servants of that which is truly eternal, is a powerful blessing. Let us rejoice in it, for it is the greatest mercy that we shall ever know. And let us share that hope of mercy with all other kindred, that they might know it as well.
