The Need for Humility

I visit the palaces and halls of my kind, and find cold welcome there. 2 My attempts to bring to my brethren the truth that I have witnessed are met with public scorn and laughter. 3 Yet I persist in my efforts. Surely this willful ignorance must be provoking to the Lord! 4 Few and far between are the Kindred who humor me with a receptive ear or a kind word, 5 and they are reviled by the Romans for this conduct. 6 Yet I persist in my efforts. 

7 I cannot couch my message in the language of the philosophers and the arguments of Senators, and my speech is unimpressive. 8 Yet I persist in my efforts. 

 - Torments 4:1-8

Each of us have our strengths and weaknesses, our abilities and our shortcomings. As is evidenced by the failings of Longinus after he has received the message of his purpose, even those with righteousness on their side do not always succeed. A thing being right and just does not mean that it will come to pass in this fallen world. Yet conviction may drive us to strive ever harder in the face of adversity.

The fact is that though Longinus bore a message from God on the purpose of the Damned in this world, he did not have the skills to convey it at first. He persisted in his attempts until at last he proclaims in Torments 6:7 "I am too lowly a servant for this task."

In frustration and despair Longinus travels for a time, He wanders aimlessly, wrestling with these emotions. He admits to doubt in himself and his ability to succeed. He calls out to God. He weeps. He debases himself. In Torments 8:8 he has reached his lowest state: "I lie in earth like a pile of dung."

Longinus receives no word from God. He receives no sign of the rightness of his course. No angel visits him to spur him onward this time. Instead, he must reach within for wisdom, acknowledging his failures, but knowing that they need not persist forever: "I have failed in my ministry, but I cannot succeed while lying in the dirt." (Torments 9:2)

Longinus turns for solutions not to himself, for he has failed, nor to God, who has not answered his prayers directly. Instead, he turns to mankind. Though Longinus slew Christ, was Damned by God, and was visited by an angel to reveal his purpose in the past, he humbled himself before men so that he might learn. "With humility and faith I approach the teacher. 2 I come to him as yet another student and I beg him to impart to me his wisdom." (Torments 12:1-2)

Many nights pass as Longinus learns and studies at the foot of his teacher, a mortal man. When at last he has learned enough that he might better fulfill his purpose, he retreats to pray. "I fast and pray and beg the Lord for an answer, but all is silence. 2 I call upon my newfound wisdom, and decide that I must trust in man’s free will and God’s holy purpose." (Torments 14:1-2)

While guided by his experience with the divine, Longinus ultimately finds that God does not give us all the answers of how we might fulfill his will. That is for us to find. We find it in recognizing our shortcomings and in reaching out to others. We find our way in listening and learning, in the bountiful knowledge of humanity, and in ultimately placing trust in others. None can go it alone in this world. It is only with humility that we can ultimately succeed.

Sum Sanctus,

Simon Patterson Gloveli

Inquisitor Generalis de Lacus Magni