Existentialism is a modern philosophical term, having been discussed in mortal circles only within the past two centuries. The term itself was only coined in the 1940s. Yet the questions inherent in it are ones that kindred have wrestled with since the beginning. How do we create meaning in an existence that is relatively static compared the more frenzied tempo that surrounds us? What is truth to creatures who see cultures and mores change regularly in their perspective time frame? What even is the self when we must define ourselves not by what is around us (because we come to recognize it as an ever-changing thing), but by something internal? How do we wrestle with the mutability of our own selves in the face of torpor, the fog of ages, and the limited grasp of even the most principled mind to contain the knowledge of centuries?
If we are to have an authentic self at all, it must be one refined over time through self-reflection. It must be a search inward to find what is truly in our hearts and minds. It must contain an understanding of our nature, both collectively and individually. We must see past any one time or series of people who touch our existences to some true essence.
That promise of immortality is rarely realized, despite its potential in each of us, because of the difficulty of recognizing our authentic selves and bringing it forth. All too often, kindred attempt to define themselves by the mores of their mortal lives, the values of one people in one time and place, and as that moment in mortal history is swept away, they find themselves lost with it. When defining oneself by ephemeral things, the promise of eternity can not be realized. So often despair, disillusionment, and eventual self-destruction set in.
This is not to say that in finding one's essence the promise of immortality is sure to be realized. The reality is that the world is harsh and none are truly safe who dwell within it. One's nature may, and often does, lead one into conflict with others. Yet without that grounding, one is surely lost.
The Testament of Longinus is a powerful tool for self-reflection because it is a story of the journey from mortal life to the finding of purpose for one kindred, Longinus. The beginning of the Testament is a personal answer for Longinus and an offer to share what wisdom he garnered along that path of personal discovery. However, the Testament itself is but an aid, not a map to any one person's self-realization. It does not contain step-by-step instructions, any more than the Bible does for mortals. It is a series of parables that help us explore the existential questions that arise in kindred existence.
"We know that not every one of the Damned is of equal gift or similar vocation. Just as mortal man may be a soldier, or a cowherd, or a scribe, so may a Kindred be a prince, or a philosopher, or a councilor. Though the Dark Father was a soldier and a wanderer, it does not then follow that each Kindred who follows in his path must be the same. Let then each Kindred who feels in himself a calling to greater understanding and a deeper knowledge of God's plan submit himself to a life of study and prayer. He shall be guided by two things: the teachings of the Dark Father and the prayerful spirit of his own heart." - Rule of Golgotha 11Simon Patterson Gloveli
Inquisitor Generalis de Lacus Magni
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